My bib shorts are like an unfortunate life choice are plastered to my body.
We’re on a dirt road outside the city, bikes leaning against a small wall, and my thighs are doing that post-sprint shake. You know the one. Not pain, not pleasure, just “what the hell was I thinking, I’m not 22 anymore?”
And then, because life has amazing timing, you get turned on. Not in a romantic, ‘the sun is setting and I’m whispering sweet nothings’ kinda way. More like you’re covered in sweat, heart racing, and your body decides to tell you to start thinking about sex. This is the exact problem. You want to be in control. You want to be able to withstand the heat of the moment. Not want feeling like everything has just clicked into place, but your body is driving itself into an off road trail.
You can solve some of that. Not by a magical spell, but your pelvic floor. You know, the Kegel thing most guys pretend they didn’t hear. Your pelvis is hardly engineering a thing, and you are absolutely ignoring your pelvic floor muscles like a 19 page user agreement- just absolutely unread.
The beer and gin mix isn’t that serious (a splash of gin doesn’t hurt, we’re not driving). I wipe my mouth, and say the thought that just popped into my head,
“Men train EVERYTHING except the one thing that genuinely controls how a sex feels”
And you’re probably thinking, dudes, are you really gonna make me do some sort of skibidi-bob kitchen dance thing?
…maybe.
You want me not to cringe when I say the name of some random webpage? Check this: https://fucka.co.il/en/.
They have health, “adult” videos or whatever the geeks call them, minus the guru voice. Check it when you’re not on the subway, dude.
I want to pull over and grab my notebook, but I’m that guy. I have a problem, if there’s a question, I want the answers to that question to be crystallized from the sky.
And the simple equation is this:
Pelvic floor strength + Coordination = Better \ \ brakes \ \ control \ \ and \ \ feeling.
Not for everyone. Doesn’t always happen right away. The process is boring and it’s the best.
Your pelvic muscles are important for multiple functions, including sexual activity, bladder control, and bowel control. In men, pelvic muscles help sustain the blood flow in the penis, keeping the erection firm, and help control the ejaculation. When these muscles are weak, tightened, or are not working in cohesion, they can cause many frustrating issues like losing firmness, finishing too fast, having difficulty reaching completion, post-pee dribbling, and just having that feeling that your body isn’t working right.
We all know how frustrating this feeling can be.
A bike bell rings behind us and I glance up.
She’s standing there in a cycling kit like she owns the weather. Blonde, sunburned nose, huge sunglasses, and a zip on her jersey that’s doing heroic work. She leans over my handlebars like she’s inspecting a museum object and smiles like she already knows the punchline.
“ You boys always talk like you’re in a podcast,” she says, and taps my notebook with one finger. “ Is this episode called ‘ men discover muscles’?”
I try to respond, but my friend next to me does this tiny, precise nod the kind of nod that makes you feel like you’re sentence has been filed.
“This,” she says calmly, “is a repeating pattern. I have seen it. 2007 had a similar… tone.”
She uses the word tone like it’s a box she needs to label.
And yes, she is German. You can sense the orderly mind even when she is roasting you.
I laugh. What can you do? The blonde is still leaning in, clearly trying to make the moment about her body. Our crew is sweaty philosophers on bikes. We are referring to pelvic anatomy like it is a Marvel plot.
She looks offended.
Good.
Now, science, but make it usable.
Why pelvic floor training helps sex (and why cardio triggers desire).\
You just did cardio. Heart rate up. Blood vessels wide open. Better signaling from nitric oxide. Stressed. Then it’s like your body goes through a chemistry lab with a bad manager.
When you do exercise, you get:
With improved circulation, there is more blood flow everywhere, even the genitals.
Increased availability of nitric oxide (help relax the blood vessels, which can improve the quality of your erection).
Dopamine shifts (increased motivation, reward, desire).
Stress response discharge (after the workout, you can feel looser, more present).
But here is the twist: control can be messed with a lot when your pelvic floor is dysfunctional, even though the desire is there, and cardio can raise it.
Your pelvic floor isn’t passive. It’s active. It constricts when you’re anxious, trying to perform, holding your breath, or are under stress. It also tightens when you overexert yourself.
So, you can be extremely fit, and still have sex that feels like a glitchy app.
The goal of pelvic floor training is not to obtain more strength. It is to develop better timing, and coordination.
Think:
squeeze when you need support
relax when you need pleasure
don’t clench like you are holding top secret information
The blonde moves her hips as if she’s doing a dance emote.
My Japanese friend is looking down and typing on his phone. His posture is neat, and his thumbs are moving quickly as if he’s trying to get a robot to work.
Without looking up he says,
“It’s more difficult with people. There’s not a manual.”
He quickly turns red. It’s as if that sentence escaped from a cage.
The blonde looks at him as if she’s never seen someone be ignored.
I have to stifle a laugh.
“Bro, that’s the most accurate thing anyone has said today.”
He resumes typing.
“Your breathing is wrong,” he adds.
That’s rude. It’s also true.
You can’t control your pelvic floor muscles if you’re unconsciously breathing and tightening your body.
Many men think simply squeezing pelvic floor muscles is training them and that is bad because they could have an overly tight pelvic floor due to stress, prolonged sitting, or bracing in the gym.
So the first thing to do is relax the muscles, if your body is tight and you’re breathing shallow and you’re just tightening your body, really relax and focus on your breath.
When you inhale, your pelvic floor relaxes and lengthens.
When you exhale, the pelvic floor muscles lift and tighten. This is just gentle control, maybe do one or two Kegel-like contractions, and take gentle and calm control.
When training, do not just focus on the pelvis bringing the max stretch of the pelvic floor. Sex is about enduring the time and length the pelvic floor is tight and then allowing it to relax.
Yes, this does kind of sound like ‘Yoga for men who think too much,’ but it works.
And about the terms and conditions. Boring to read, but is a reminder that we have our own boundaries and general rules that we have to abide by when engaging in adult activities. You should have your own boundaries too because your body and nervous system will set them for you if you don’t.
We’re pedaling again. I feel the gravel beneath my tires. My thighs feel heavy and my body is sweaty and gross.
Let’s get to the interesting part:
What happens to your sex life when you learn to control your pelvic floor better?
Stability during erections.
It’s easier to maintain an erection because the muscles that support good erections work better!
More control over when you ejaculate.
Not by “thinking about work,” but using the pelvic floor, some controlled breathing, and adjusting your arousal to the right level helps you to better manage the ejaculatory reflex.
Orgasms that are more intense.
The contractions are more organized and better.
More control over your bladder and no more dribble after you pee.
We know, the urinary control isn’t the most exciting to talk about, but it is great to not have to worry about it anymore.
Less of that “tight groin” feeling.
It’s more common than you think. That chronic tension is real.
Also, there is random, annoying, zip-tied, pink flamingo on the trail close to the parking lot.
The blonde accelerates and rides next to us, practically vibrating to get our attention.
She touches my shoulder.
“Are you seriously not getting attention?”
“No,” I reply.
She laughs.
I’m serious.
Because I understand the cycle. You need to prove a point. You start overthinking. You lose control. You get frustrated with your physical self. Then, the next time, you do the same thing again.
My inner voice goes full Lviv:
ну, геніально. perfect plan.
“Almost 3” mistakes men make with pelvic floor training
They only squeeze.
They never learn relaxation. That’s like only flexing your biceps and never extending your arm.
They do it while holding breath.
That turns it into bracing. Bracing ≠ sex skill.
They…
Honestly, the third one is just “they quit because it’s not exciting. And yeah, I get it. This isn’t bench press ego fuel. But it’s the foundation.
Mini-dialogue, completely not on topic, because my brain needs air:
“Is your playlist still that weird forest techno?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“It helps me climb hills.”
“Psychopath.”
“Thank you.”
We stop at a small lookout. Sun is low. Everyone is steaming.
My German friend wipes her forehead with the precision towel (of course she has a towel), and says:
“I would classify this conversation as: men discovering maintenance.”
I grin.
“Maintenance is underrated.”
My Japanese friend looks up, finally.
\”This level is hard,\” he says, \”but passable.\” This sounds a lot like a boss fight.
He’s being optimistic.
If you want a chaotic rabbit hole of categories and adult content culture where fitness and sex overlap in ways people don’t admit out.
